I don't understand your comments vis-à-vis Cindy Gallop's views. Her position, which I gather from her TED talk, is that it's increasingly easy to get access to hardcore pornography, which gets more people to believe that what happens in hardcore pornography is the way to have sex. Moreover, we live in a puritanical society where parents and schools don't talk with children about sex. As a result, she believes that hard-core pornography has become de-facto sex education.
As a specific example, many of the 20-year-olds she has had sex with believe that coming on a woman's face is part of normal sex. She's fine with telling them that she does not want that. Her concern is that a young woman who does not want that, but where her boyfriend does, and where "hardcore porn has taught her that all men love coming on women's faces, that all women love having their faces come on, and therefore she must let him come on her face and she must pretend to like it."
She explicitly states that this is not a good and bad sex view, and indeed asserts that sex "embraces the vastest possible range of proclivities." Instead, she says that hardcore porn presents a "one-world view" and she wants to say "not necessarily."
Which means that no, porn is "not real" in that regard. The "makelovenotwar.com" site has examples of "porn world", where women have no pubic hair, and "real world", where some do, some don't, some men actually prefer women with hair, and it's a personal choice. In "porn world", "women come all the time ins positions where nothing is going on anywhere near the clit." In "real world", there needs to be something. In porn world, "all women love anal sex." In the real world, a lot of women are not. In the porn world, camera angles are important. In the real world, one of the pleasures of sex is the full body skin-on-skin contact - which would make it hard for the camera. And so on.
(Yes, porn is vast, and there are niches with all of these examples. That's not part of mainstream porn.)
So yes, the sex shown in hardcore porn is real sex. But so is a lot of other things which makes for great sex but boring porn. Do you really want to watch the foreplay of a couple, naked but under a warm blanket, talking about how their day went or the frustrations at work while enjoying the nearness of each other? And then stopping for a moment to look something up in the dictionary? No, no more than you want to watch video of most real families going about their lives.
There are many other ways to learn how families work than by watching TV. Where does one learn about how sex - and I of course mean more than the mechanics - works? Her argument seems to be that porn is not diverse enough, and that instead viewers are channeled into a certain set of ideas of what sex is.
This is nothing to do with kinky. This is nothing to do with boring sex. Hence I don't see how any of your comments apply.
As a specific example, many of the 20-year-olds she has had sex with believe that coming on a woman's face is part of normal sex. She's fine with telling them that she does not want that. Her concern is that a young woman who does not want that, but where her boyfriend does, and where "hardcore porn has taught her that all men love coming on women's faces, that all women love having their faces come on, and therefore she must let him come on her face and she must pretend to like it."
She explicitly states that this is not a good and bad sex view, and indeed asserts that sex "embraces the vastest possible range of proclivities." Instead, she says that hardcore porn presents a "one-world view" and she wants to say "not necessarily."
Which means that no, porn is "not real" in that regard. The "makelovenotwar.com" site has examples of "porn world", where women have no pubic hair, and "real world", where some do, some don't, some men actually prefer women with hair, and it's a personal choice. In "porn world", "women come all the time ins positions where nothing is going on anywhere near the clit." In "real world", there needs to be something. In porn world, "all women love anal sex." In the real world, a lot of women are not. In the porn world, camera angles are important. In the real world, one of the pleasures of sex is the full body skin-on-skin contact - which would make it hard for the camera. And so on.
(Yes, porn is vast, and there are niches with all of these examples. That's not part of mainstream porn.)
So yes, the sex shown in hardcore porn is real sex. But so is a lot of other things which makes for great sex but boring porn. Do you really want to watch the foreplay of a couple, naked but under a warm blanket, talking about how their day went or the frustrations at work while enjoying the nearness of each other? And then stopping for a moment to look something up in the dictionary? No, no more than you want to watch video of most real families going about their lives.
There are many other ways to learn how families work than by watching TV. Where does one learn about how sex - and I of course mean more than the mechanics - works? Her argument seems to be that porn is not diverse enough, and that instead viewers are channeled into a certain set of ideas of what sex is.
This is nothing to do with kinky. This is nothing to do with boring sex. Hence I don't see how any of your comments apply.