Give first as a general mantra sometimes works. But in situations where you're constantly giving to new people who have never gotten anything from you before, and therefore want the same "give" that you gave the earlier people means that you never get to the return part. Instead you're always giving. New people come in, want the same give that you gave others, and then at some point you're not getting the return because those new people are placed with even newer people. This is the revolving door of give, and why the give first never results in the... what next? Give first, get later? A lot of times it's give, give, give, with no return, until you finally tire out.