I certainly saw that. The issue we had was my sister grilling everyone who came into the room, or even walked by, often the same questions that she already asked that person earlier. I could see everyone starting to dread seeing her. The “squeaky wheel gets the grease” doesn't apply if people are avoiding the patients room.

My father's cardiologist was explaining the procedure he was about to perform and my sister and mother were so upset they just flooded him with irrelevant questions and questions that he had already answered. I kept trying to get them to stop talking over top the surgeon and actually listen to the answers he was giving. He finally asked me if I could "socialize this with your family" so he could return to the operating room.

I have heard an equal number of stories that are exactly opposite. Only through aggressive, pushy "squeaky wheel" behaviour was someone able to get the correct care.

My dad definitely got better care because both my brother and were assertive in our advocacy, but my sister’s aggressive, undirected badgering didn’t help at all.

As someone who has spent much more than my fair share of time in ICU and on "the floor" I can honestly say that being in the hospital is similar to being in prison in one respect. Having someone on the outside working for you is critical. Medical staff will almost immediately try to establish a power dynamic over you to keep you cooperative and docile. Having people from outside who are polite but inquisitive and questioning is key. I've also noticed that people who have frequent and varied family visitors get more attentive care than those who never have visitors such as the elderly whose family may all be gone and friends can't really travel.