A great book, imho, on this very subject is: How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims. I can't believe the level of material and amount of work for my poor 4th grader. She's doing hours and hours of homework every night and she's 10. Talk about diminishing returns!

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23168823-how-to-raise-an...